First of all, I’m stealing this idea from a podcast I listen to. If you’re curious about it, you can check it out at www.thesecretcast.com
On this episode Robert and Mike asked their wives to come up with five moments when the husbands really came through for them and did something that was super helpful. As I was listening, I felt like this would be a great thing for all wives to let their husbands know. In general in life, it’s so easy to complain and find faults. And I’m sure we all here TONS about it when we do something wrong, but how often do we get to hear about it when we do something right? Not nearly enough, I fear.
I hesitate to call these “5 top moments” because Will is an amazing husband and has come through for me so many times in so many ways. But these are 5 shining moments, listed in chronological order. I just hope I don’t embarass Will too much by making these public. 🙂
1- Helping me move out of my dormroom freshman year. Will and I were going to different universities at this point. His school had ended the week before, so he came to Missoula to be with me while I took finals, and then he helped me pack all of my stuff back home to Helena for the summer. I remember taking my last final on Thursday of that week, and I knew that once I was finished, I would have to go back to the dorm, load all of my stuff, and then begin the very unfun process of cleaning the dorm room. Much to my surprise, though, when I came back, Will had already begun the process for me. A lot of my stuff had been loaded into our cars, and he’d already swept and mopped the floor. He had only been my boyfriend for about three months at this point, so all of that help was unexpected, and greatly appreciated.
2- Buying my sister a new tongue ring. We had been married for about a year, and it was the summer before my last year in college. During the summer I worked for a temporary service, and I had been working just outside of Bozeman (near Four Corners) for a couple of weeks in an office building for a satellite company. It was only about a 15 minute drive, but it was probably 7 miles from our apartment in family housing. At the time we only had one car, so I drove it out to work everyday.
Cut to an 85 degree day. My younger sister was working at a country club outside of Bozeman, only not in the same direction as my job. She called trying to get ahold of me because while at work, she swallowed her tongue retainer (the clear plastic piece she had to wear to hold the hole for her tongue ring because she wasn’t allowed to wear a tongue ring as a server). She wasn’t able to leave work, and she was worried by the time she got off work 7 or 8 hours later, that her hole would be closed. Will told her I was working, so she asked him if he could possibly buy her another tongue retainer and drive it out to her. Will told her that I had the car. She asked if he could possibly ride his bike to wherever I was working, pick up the car, and then go and buy her a tongue retainer. That would have been only slightly farther than actually riding his bike out to her work, though.
So in the 85 degree heat (and Will does NOT like the heat) Will hopped on his bike and rode it downtown to the piercing store, bought the tongue retainer, and then rode the five miles out to my sister’s place of employment to bring it to her.
I only heard about this after getting off of work that evening. So he did all of it without any pressure from me. It still impresses me just thinking about it.
3- Moving to Washington. The summer after we both graduated (2004), we knew we wanted to move to Washington. I thought it would be easier to find a teaching job there than in Montana, and Will wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to do with his physics degree. If he was going to work in a job related to his field, though, we knew we’d need to move to a bigger area. Unfortunately, it was near the end of the summer, and I still didn’t have a job. Will was working for Target at the time, though, so his plan was to transfer to the nearest store wherever I was able to find a job. The fact that he was willing to move wherever I managed to find work was impressive on its own. It became even more impressive when about a week before Labor Day, I FINALLY found a teaching position in Washington. I drove out by myself because Will was still working in Bozeman. He trusted me to find us an apartment and get a few things moved into it. Then he (and his parents) took on the responsibility of packing up EVERYTHING ELSE, which was a lot, loading it into a U-haul, cleaning up the old apartment, and driving out to meet me. Moving was a big risk, and he was willing to take it without question. And it was at least a year before either of us really felt like that risk had paid off, but I think we’re both pretty happy with the results now.
4- Showing up with a treat when I really needed it. This is something Will does quite a bit, actually, but this one particular moment really stands out in my mind. It was my second year teaching at my current school. Will was a full-time student working on his own teaching certification, and I was typically working 60-70 hour weeks, with much of that spent at school figuring out everything for the school newspaper. It was an afternoon in May, which is when I really start getting antsy for summer, and I was sitting in a staff meeting. As a total surprise, Will showed up at school with a Frappuccino for me. He had gone to my classroom, not knowing that I had a staff meeting. Fortunately some of my newspaper students let him know I was probably at a meeting, and they pointed him in the direction of the main building. Will got there just as the meeting was ending and was able to give me my treat. It was such a bright spot in what otherwise was a long, and tiresome day.
5- Becoming my running partner. I was a regular runner during my first two years of college. During the last couple of years of college, I went through several periods of running regularly and then falling out of it for awhile. Once we moved to Washington, I tried several times to get back into running, but it would never stick for more than a couple of months, until the summer of 2008. During the next year Will was super supportive of my running. He encouraged me to sign up for races. He would drive me to the races and take lots of pictures, and then he’d take me out to eat afterwards. I didn’t think he could be any more supportive. And then in August 2009, he started running with me. Running together has been such an awesome experience, and I miss it so much right now. The last time we ran together was in a 5 mile race right before Halloween. I had to go really slow because of the pregnancy, and Will hung with me the whole way, even though he could have gone a lot faster had he wanted to. Since the doctor recommended that I stop running, Will hasn’t been running either. I didn’t ask him (nor would I want him) to give it up just because I can’t do it, and I don’t think that’s why he has. I think his interest in running was genuinely to spend more time with me. And so since I’m not running, neither is he. And I know that once I am able to run again, hopefully in June, he’ll start up with me again, and he’ll help me figure out how to make it work with two babies.
Anyway, this whole post is not really pregnancy related except that I hope my babies know how much I love and appreciate their father. He has been the greatest blessing in my life, and there is no one I trust more to embark with on this experience of parenthood.