In light of today’s tragedy in Connecticut (which I don’t want to describe because I can’t think about it without crying) it occurred to me that if tragedy were to strike, I don’t have anything for my children that could really express the depth of my love for them. Much of what I have written about on this blog is talking about the difficulties and struggles, and I would hate for that to ever be my final message.
Of course I don’t have the time I would like to do this how I want to, but I also know that if I don’t do this now, I may not get back to it for awhile. So for now, this will have to suffice.
Dear Siren and Imogen,
I love you more than I ever could have imagined before having you. Seeing your faces, or even pictures of your faces, strikes me with so much awe. I think you are so beautiful and so incredible, that I know you are a gift from God and could not have come from me alone. I can see parts of both your daddy and myself in you, and I feel so incredibly lucky that we get to be your parents.
Siren, I love how determined and joyful you are. You are constantly on the move, and you seem to have energy for everything. I love seeing how happy you get after you do something for us, like bringing your shoes from the changing table to the table by the front door. You love being able to help already, and I’m so appreciative of that. We named you SIren so that you would be strong, no matter what kind of difficulties you might face. So far you have lived up to your name. You were incredibly brave during all of the medical procedures you had to endure when you were still so tiny. You’re strong when you try new things, and when you stand up for your sister. I love that about you, and I hope you’re always able to find that strength in yourself.
Imogen, I love how sweet and empathetic you are. Every time Siren gets upset, you pat her on the back or give her a hug. You love to give kisses, and watching you do this brings me so much joy. You’ve always been our tiny baby, but you have great strength in you as well. You’ve always made your feelings very clear, even though you don’t have the words yet to speak them. You love music, and your daddy and I love to watch you listen to music and dance. We recently brought you to a basketball game at your daddy’s school, and you clapped after every song that the band played. You also love to be helpful, and you always grab Nieve’s food dish and bring it to me when she rattles it for more food. You take turns leading and following with your sister, and it’s amazing to see the relationship that is building between you two.
I want you to know this more than anything else: you are both so deeply loved. Both sets of your grandparents absolutely adore you. Your aunties and uncles love spending time with you and have helped us to take care of you. And you are on your parents’ minds in everything we do. I mention you several times a day to my students without ever planning to. Your dad and I think about the things we’ll do together as a family in the future and feel such great excitement for our lives together. If anything ever were to happen to either of us, know how deeply and fiercely we love you and will continue to love you, always.