I went most of 2014 without posting here. The reasons are complicated. The first one being that my girls still don’t go to bed at night. They have good nights and bad nights. We’ve tried them in separate rooms and still in one room together. We’ve tried stickers and check ins and crying it out and everything I can think of. The bottom line is that they hate going to sleep, I hate bedtime, and it takes anywhere from 1 to 2 hours to get them to go to bed at night. When I used to write regularly, it was after they went to sleep at night. Since they are always up so late, I pretty much stopped posting.
The other major reason was that 2014 was just a difficult year in general. While we had no major crisis, things just felt hard. I feel weird even trying to talk about it because compared to the struggles that I know other people are going through, we don’t have any room to complain. Will and I are both employed. We’re able to afford our house payment, our cars, and generally keep up with our bills. The girls are healthy. We are healthy. We have SO SO MUCH to be grateful for. At the same time, I don’t think NOT talking about the struggles has done me any good. Writing is such a part of who I am and how I process things. I’ve still been writing, just not in a way that I’ve wanted to put out to the general public.
So I’m struggling with what’s okay to share, what’s better not to share, and how to try to post here regularly again. I want to keep a record of those funny parenting moments. I’m hoping I can find a way to make this work again. I won’t make any promises at this point, but one of my goals for 2015 is to try.